Death Cab for China: A New Meaning to "Chinese Takeout"

Hot off the assembly line...it's China's Death Mobile. Yes folks, this is too brilliant to be made up. It's true, for years, foreign human rights groups have accused China of arbitrary executions and cruelty in its use of capital punishment. So, China has decided to slowly phase out their usual means of execution [public executions by firing squad], by carrying out executions in a van [probably not down by the river].

Makers of the death vans say the vehicles, which are used for lethal-injection executions, are a "civilized alternative" to the shot to the back of the head. Personally, I think it's all crazy, but I do love the van. I wouldn't mind a virtual tour....hmmm, I'll have to post a comment. According to Kang Zhongwen, who designed the Jinguan Automobile death van in which "Devil" Zhang took his final ride, says the switch from gunshots to injections is a sign that China "promotes human rights now." I heart their brilliance.

If you're looking for a new ride...

Death Mobile Specs:
Cost: $37,500 or totally pimped $75,000
Length: 20-26ft
Top Speed: 65 to 80 mph

PLUS, it comes fully equipped with an Observation Area!! Again, can u say ViRTUAL TOUR.
In the middle, with glass separating it from execution area it can accommodate six people [but I am sure u can fit more]. All communication is via walkie-talkie [I guess they couldn’t think of a better means to communicate…I think they should have had one of those windows like at ticket windows or the one’s at really seedy gas stations. That’s what I would have done.]


Quick Fact:
The exact number of convicts put to death is a state secret. Amnesty International estimates there were at least 1,770 executions in China in 2005 - vs. 60 in the United States, but the group says on its website that the toll could be as high as 8,000 prisoners.

Quotes: In No Particular Order
1) "I'm most proud of the bed. It's very humane, like an ambulance"
...see as it glides from upright to lying down mode, thank Buddha for this power-driven metal stretcher...

2) "Some places can't afford the cost of sending a person to Beijing - perhaps $250 - plus $125 more for the drug," says Qiu Xingsheng, a former judge working as a lawyer in Chongqing. Death-by-gunshot requires "very little expense"
...Need I say more...Classic.

3) [The guards] "ask the prisoner to open his mouth, so the bullet can pass out of the mouth and leave the face intact"
...Human Rights to the Maximum...Cruel and Unsual must have been 'blacked out' of the books.

4) "It doesn't matter what method you use," Qiu says. "If someone is convicted of a capital crime, they should be executed."
...Please open your mouth. bang.

5) "If we abolish the death penalty, then crime will grow"
...it's a good thing the Chinese send the bodies to crematoriums...


Last Fun Fact:
Sixty-eight different crimes - more than half non-violent offenses such as tax evasion and drug smuggling - are punishable by death in China.
...I bet that Robert Hatch from Survivor would have paid the tax on his winnings if he knew a Death Van would show up at his doorstep. YAHTZEE!